The Power of Compassionate Leadership: What We Learned from Dave James & Alison Blackler at the Hope Conference
- Jon Salmon
- 22 hours ago
- 4 min read
When Dave James and Alison Blackler took to the stage at the Hope Conference with their session “The Power of Compassionate Leadership,” they didn’t bring a set of corporate clichés or a neatly packaged five-step model.
Instead, they brought honesty, humour, vulnerability and a fizzy can (thanks CANS for the drinks) of metaphorical “compassionate leadership” that would eventually make its way into the audience’s hands.
What unfolded was a deeply relatable exploration of what compassion actually looks like in leadership, not in theory, but in the messy, human reality of workplaces, teams, and our own internal worlds.
We Are All Leaders (Even If We Don’t Think So)
Dave and Alison opened by immediately dismantling one persistent myth: leadership is not about titles.
Everyone leads in some way through influence, action, behaviour, or the way we show up for ourselves and others. The only people forgiven for not calling themselves leaders were, as Dave joked, anyone with a shoulder injury unable to raise their hand.
But the invitation was clear:
Start by seeing yourself as a leader of you.
From there, the conversation became universal. This wasn’t a talk for CEOs , it was a talk for humans.
Compassion Has a Backstory
Both speakers shared how their personal experiences shaped their understanding of compassion:
Alison’s story: Compassion that always flowed outward
Growing up with critical parenting, Alison learned to please others at the expense of herself. Compassion became something she gave away, not something she offered herself. It made her effective but exhausted.
Dave’s story: Anger to empathy
Dave spent much of his early life communicating through anger. Learning emotional regulation opened a door to compassion, not as softness, but as space for others who were struggling, and space for himself to step out of reaction mode.
Their two very different paths led to the same conclusion:
Compassion is a practice, not a personality trait. It has to be learned, unlearned, and chosen often when it’s hardest.
So Why Isn’t Compassionate Leadership Easy?
The room offered words like empathy, inclusivity, action, understanding, and inspiration. But knowing what compassionate leadership sounds like isn’t the same as delivering it. Dave and Alison explored the real-world barriers:
It sounds “fluffy” and therefore gets dismissed.
Leaders say they don’t have enough time.
It can feel like opening Pandora’s box what happens if people share too much?
It’s complex, because people are complex.
Different generations need different communication styles.
We fall back into stress-mode, especially under pressure.
The brain hates uncertainty, so we fill in the gaps with assumptions, fear, and story-making.
All of this makes compassion sound like a nice-to-have, not an essential skill. But the speakers turned that idea on its head.
The Real Power of Compassionate Leadership
When Dave “shook the drink” the compassionate leadership metaphor came alive.
The more pressure you shake into a system, the more stress, silence, and bottled-up emotions, the more uncomfortable it becomes.
But with intention? With curiosity?With compassion? The bottle becomes a lot less explosive.
They then explored the evidence-based benefits:
1. Increased happiness
Happy people don’t just feel good — they contribute more, collaborate better, and show up more consistently.
2. Reduced burnout
Compassionate leadership recognises pressure points before they become breaking points.
3. Reduced sickness and presenteeism
As Alison put it, “I was never ill on the days I worked for myself only when working in environments that drained me.”
4. People go the extra mile
Not because they’re asked to — because they feel valued.
5. Better organisational outcomes (yes, including money)
Dave joked that increased profit is a “happy accident” of compassion but it’s true.People-first cultures outperform their competitors.
So How Do We Actually DO Compassionate Leadership?
You build it one piece at a time, like a jigsaw puzzle without the picture on the box. Dave and Alison offered their Compassionate Leadership Checklist, five simple but powerful behaviours:
1. Clarity
The human brain fills gaps with worst-case scenarios. Be clear early, even if the full picture isn’t ready.
2. Vulnerability
Leaders set the tone. If you never show vulnerability, no one else will feel safe to.
3. Openness
Try, fail, learn. Compassion isn’t perfection — it’s honest effort.
4. Inclusivity
Notice who isn’t included. Bring in unheard voices.Avoid the leadership habit of assuming silence means consent.
5. Curiosity
Described as “the gateway skill”, curiosity allows us to pause, breathe, and ask questions like:
“How can I help?”
Not the version that jumps straight to instructions the version that seeks genuine understanding. You may need to ask it more than once, but it’s one of the simplest, most transformative leadership questions you can use.
The Impact You Have Is Bigger Than You Think
One of the most powerful messages came later in the session when Alison reminded the room:
“We often have no idea what our impact is.”
A small gesture, a supportive word, a moment of curiosity, these can stay with someone for years. People go home after work and talk about their leaders over dinner. Compassionate leadership shapes those conversations. “Today was awful” can become “I felt really supported.” That shift matters.
So What Will You Do Next?
Dave and Alison ended the session with a question every leader official or not should ask:
What is one small thing you can do to bring more compassion into your leadership?
Not a grand initiative, not a wholesale behavioural overhaul, just one small act. Because leadership compassionate or otherwise is built in moments, not milestones.
Stay Connected
If you were moved by Dave and Alison’s perspectives, they invited everyone to connect, keep learning, and keep the conversation alive. Their insights don’t end on stage they continue in the communities we build together.
-------------
Speakers Collective is a not-for-profit supporting lived-experience speakers, and we rely on donations. If you’re able to spare a few pounds, it makes a real difference - donate now.